Friday, September 18, 2009
Hardest
I like fri and wed the best becos my entire family probably except my sis would not be at home . And then I'll sit down on the sofa half day dreaming half thinking about life . Hehe suddenly I remembered what roanna always say about me ' Wonder what this girl always think at home ah ! ' Cos I'll always ask Daphne and Roanna random stuffs about boyfriend , mother , father aiya anything hehe . Ok today's fri , I went out w the bitch to get stuffs . She's forever acting pretty which I can't stand it anymore , I make this pact w her if she acts one more time she got to pay me money ok . Wl eh hehehehe. Anw I went for tuition today unlike someone who skipped tuition like what three times ? Yeah tuition was great becos wanzhen came and then we started to gossip and all . And pls , she's real funny ok ! So the bus ride back home seemed to be real long and it starts to freak me out whenever night approaches silently . Becos that would mean olevels is nearing and I don't want to think about it .
I pondered over the fact which if I'm blind , what would my world be like ? Will I not get married in my whole life ? Would I not see my family forever ? Would I not be able to see my own children as well as my husband ? Would I not be able to see all my clothes and read storybks or to even watch tv ? When I was young , I fear of being blind . I wouldn't even tell my mother I'm afraid becos I didn't want her to worry . But I remembered vividly when I couldn't take it anymore becos all my questions are not answered by anyone , I sent my mother an email . The contents of the email were basically , if I'm blind which school will I go , if I'm blind will you spend more time w me , if I'm blind would I not see you forever , if I'm blind how would I be able to pee , shit , eat , study ? And the list went on and on starting w the same words ' If I'm blind .... ' I waited for days for my mom to return my email . And in the end she did . She didn't freak out like most mothers (I think) would . Instead , she replied me ' That's why you must take care of yr eyes ' Perhaps she didn't know , but these words meant a lot to me . How ironically I feel that unknowingly I was already blinded . And right now , I wished she could tell me the same words again . And that I could start searching for my courage again . My courage to face you
A moment like this
One of those nights.
7:07 AM
