Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Distance
Ok my eyes are going to shut anytime soon but I'm still going to blog becos I wanted to blog ever since like 12 pm but didn't get a chance to . I rushed through Json's work one or two hours before as usual. I really hate myself for like not being able to wake up early. I mean I do wake up early but then whenever I see its only 7 or 8 , I'll tell myself nevermind lah wake up so early also got nothing to do might as well sleep in . But wait a min man i've plenty of things to do which I totally just don't know and that I feel like kiling myself . I know everyone's mugging and I'm not I want to care so badly but somehow my mind is not working together w my heart my body as well as my soul . So forget it , I decided to let nature takes its own course . I went back to my grandpa's house today I wanted to visit my grandma becos things are not really too good and I'm a little worried . & it scares me everytime when I stare at my mum cos it will totally remind me of my popo - they look really alike no joke . I went for json today and I'm sorry to say I'm starting to dread tuition more and more becos I hate to be compared I hate to feel like a loser I hate to even act like a sore loser . WHY IS MY CHEM SO DAMN BAD , I asked myself . And becos I couldn't find any answer to my question I decided to leave it . I know he's trying very hard or his hardest to pressurize me but sorry its not working . I'm trying my best also but no its really not . What to do now , Addy ? I'm beginning to like train rides more and more esp long ones which I can sit becos only then my mind works and I seemed to feel normal . Other than that , I feel stupid , abnormal as my brain seemed to be filled w thoughts , thoughts of you . And that makes me sick .
Look at me now , look at what I've become
One of those nights.
8:07 AM
