Friday, March 13, 2009
Today's the day that we cried , today's the day that I really learn something , today's the day that I realised how little school friends I actually have ( HAAHHAHAHAHA )
No but thats true , I really realised how little my school friends are , call me pathetic or anything ywant , at least I know this fact HAHA . So today was the last day of EFL , which also mean everyone'll will cry or at least get emotional on this particular day . It was mostly the 'hearts' section that make a lot of people tear , whatever it is , let me start from the beginning .
So Life's like that , as usual , we won't get what we want .
We were all dressed in home clothes today , it was funny though how some people dress and portray themselves , although I find myself mean saying that but seriously . I guess life's like that you won't get what ywant. So I met daphneg at the foyer and we went up to the hard court. Aftera few mins later , the EFL thing began . The people from the mission team was really funny and all , not forgetting all the spontaneous school mates of STC performed a skit , cow and horse were realy funny . I really don't mind marrying to a guy who can make me laugh 24/7 , that will really make me the happiest woman in the whole world . And after this , we had the 'heart' session and the 'talent' one .
Lets talk about the 'Heart' session , it was really funny though . Daphne roanna and I were just sitting downthere stoning , we kinda reacted really slow today . Because when those people said to go and get hearts to write , we were still sitting downthere looking at this and that and was like huh now ah those kind of look , HAHAHA . So time passed really fast cause we basically live in ourown world , including jolene and majesta who came into our world a few times , HAHA . Then , I realised a lot of people were crying like insane , seriously . I then told myself I was not going to cry cause Idk , I don't want to let people to see this other side of me , although many saw it before because of the cat , seriouslyI feel like killing all the cats now . So yeah , then I thought since everyone's writing , I might as well write to some people too . I wondered who to write first , actually I knew who I wanted to write to / needed to write to , but I have no idea what I was going to say . Idk if I should say ' Thankyou for all the hurt you've caused me , no but seriously thankyou because of you I've learned a lot and I've become stronger and braver , so goodbye forever ' But in the end , I wrote this ' Dearest you , take greatest care , xoxo me ' Yeah that was what I wrote but I didn't give it to her . Why ? Idk , maybe there are a lot of things going through my mind . But whatever , then stace came along hugged me talked and yeah WE CRIED ( urghhhhhhh ) So irritating , I told myself I won't cry one pls , cause i've been crying for the past 3 EFL and I really don't want to cry on the last EFL but life is like that , you won't get waht you want . So here comes the major letter that affected me , I wonder why do I even care seriously . And I wished you didn't give me the letter , so I could still continue hating you , that would really make me feel 10000000 times better than how I was previously feeling and maybe how I feel towards this now . Suckerrrrr , but I should really listen to daphneg . She said something like ' remember about wednesday and don't waver or smt , I forgot the actual words but I got hold of the meaning ' Aiya Idk , I don't even know why I am still bothered , why do I even care , seriously ? I hate to admit this fact though . So skit was great and all , but i thought 4 J should win ( k i hope no 4 mm girls are reading this ) HAHA , its just my personal opinion even though I thought all of the classes did a wonderful job !
So , I just read jolene's so called cyber 'heart/letter' through wordpress , stupid password makes me laugh but it was real sweet and all thankyou . And Jolene Er if you are reading this , I urge you to thank me too cause I was really sweet in my reply , HAHAHAHAHHAHA ! I'm probably going to reply some peolpe here and then call bbf cause she's still waiting for my call .
Glass passenger. says:
wanna call me?
Ever and After says:
er ok
Ever and After says:
later
Glass passenger. says:
later ah rmb
Glass passenger. says:
wanna hear you hahah havent hear your bimbo voice for damn long sia
Anw , yeah here it goesssssssss :
1) You
If I ever have to say I'm sorry to you now , that would be I'm sorry that I can't keep my promise to you and I'm sorry for treating you to harsh and cold right now . I appear as if I hate you to the core , I appear as if I really dislike you how I wished you were dead or maybe how I wished I could stab you and run away and there's no punishment for stabbing people , however I hate to admit that a simple short letter of yours did affect me or at least , I'm bothered by it . Whatever , I can't believe I said that because I hate to admit this fact , really hate to . That probably also mean that I don't really hate you to that extent , I probably only dislike you or maybe not , Idk whats happening to me . I really wanted to be a bitch to you because you've seriously hurt me . But I guess its fair and equal . I've once hurt you so badly , and its only right for you to hurt me the same way I've hurt you , really . However , hurting me now seemed to be a different thing . I bear grudges , I'll remember the hurt and it wouldn't disappear so fast. But , thanks for writing to me that letter even though I've treat you so mean and all . K actually i'm not really mean , I still say hi to you and all , but in a that kind of tone and I never smile and all . I can't bring myself to , so pls try to understand , even though I know you won't . I don't really get what you mean in the letter but all I know is that thanks for telling me that you mean it when you say you really care and love me . Thanks , but why do I still have this doubt . Do you write this letter to other people too ? Do you write the same thing in every letter ? Do you really mean what you said or are you just trying to fill up the space ? Or is it you are trying to make things be like last time so I could be some use to you ? Idk , I seriously don't know . I think things have come to this stage that I don't even know who you are . You are like a masked man , putting on various maskes everyday and to different people , you put on different maskes , and so to me , what kind of mask do you put on ? But one fact that I'm v clear about , the person I've loved is not the present you , maybe there's a little of you but not all in fact majority is not . You are so different from who I've loved , and I'm sober . I can't seemed to even differentiate which one of what you are saying is truth or is it a lie , Idk and I'm really tired of continuing this journey w you because its wearing me out completely . I feel so drained and I don't want to feel this way anymore . We can still be friends , however things are not that simple , my wounds would not be healed overnight , it needs a lot of time and patience . And for now , I asked you to try to understand my situation , to be patient w me , once I'm done w all these and I know that I'm really ready to give things up , I'll let yknow . And then I hope that is it will not be too late . Yknow what , I think deep down , I still care for you , but I know I don't love you anymore . And I hate to admit that too , really .
K now I need to call bbf now before she becomes a pig . Eh wait , she's alr a pig HAHAHAHHAHAHA . I love you , bbf .
One of those nights.
7:51 AM
