Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Hey people !!!!
I think I'm seriously insane ok . I'm actually freaking tired and I plan to sleep throughout . But something tells me that I need to complete my shitified hw before I can yknow , sleep in peace. So I force myself to wake up at 1.47 to complete all my hw . I think I'm soon becoming like sofea ..... ( Oh no ! ) HAHA . However somehow I feel better waking up at night to study. It feels quieter but scary . Oh , did I forget to mention how cool J's bday surprise and everything was ? It was so freaking cool , her bday was so cool , the cake was so cool , the celebration was even cooler cause its so loud , AIYA , just one word : COOL . HAHAHA , that sounds really gross by the way , HAHAHA . But it was really cool and I hope J really did like it cause we kinda put in a lot of last min effort !!! Roanna missed everything out today , but nevermind I'll explain it to her / describe to her how ytd felt like . But I doubt I'll cause recently my mood is :/ ( like I want to be like that )
Anw , today's mummy birthday! We are supposed to cook for her today cause its her bday. But Idk , cause firstly I can't cook for nuts . ASK MAUR FOR MORE INFORMATION PLS ( cause she knows how well I rock w maggie noodles , HAHAHAHA ) Shitzxzxzx , miss maur so badly now . Anw , yeah and this year was really rushed and all , I kinda didn't get my mum anything for her bday . But she's really a smartie , she bought herself two bags and asked us to pay that for her bday , k maybe I should : > I hope mummy will be really happy on her
bday cause
thats the most important thing I want to see. I sang her a happy birthday song just now like when she just came back home . Then she was like ' Eh whats wrong w you ah ! ' I said ' Your
bday tmr what , lets start off by getting the mood right first ! '
HAHAHA . I'm damn freaking hungry I just realised .
Trg was really really really really bad today . It was so bad that I couldn't describe to you how bad it is .
AIYA , k I admit it was actually nothing. Its just that some people act blind and left me alone and
AIYA ......... lets not talk about it before I get really uptight and start to
yknow swear . I know this year I kept swearing for nuts , for nothing also swear . I should really kick that stupid habit . K , I realise I seriously need to make resolutions cause
i'm so ........
Anw , wanna apologise to all the fielders esp .
Ovidia ,
Chelsa and Alissa. Sorry I was really v upset w
yknow who
ytd ,
thats why you listen to listen to all my rantings . I really need to grow up soon cause I'm still throwing tantrums when I'm upset or anything . How I wished I could train w
Sofea , then she'll know everything . But yeah , life's always like this , you won't get what
ywant .
Oh
btw blogger really suck cause I just a whole paragraph of like school life and it disappear just like that . Yeah basically I still miss
crazyman like insane . I still can't get used to the fact that she has
alr graduated . Esp during
trgs , I
missssssssssssssss herrrrrrrrrrrr alotttttttt . K , I know
i've alr said that a lot of times and I could continue to miss and dream but she's never
goanna be back in this school again . I'm still feeling lost and helpless. Its like I'm getting to nowhere and this is affecting me like crazy . I hate to feel this way cause come on , isn't it stupid . Its like I'm waiting , I'm trying , I'm putting in a lot of effort and all , and you happily just ' oh yeah whats this , oh yeah that oh yeah she just gave me
smt oh
ok , thanks ' K I know I really shouldn't say that of you and I totally don't mean it. But come on , at least I want to feel appreciated by you . I don't want to be an idiot doing things for you and you only say '
thankyou'. K , I'm acting up again . I
shouldnt be so greedy , I shouldn't be this way . I tell you , I seriously believe in karma . Seriously . But what can I do ? Nothing . So I'll probably keep trying and let you realise I'm always here for you . And you could keep taking taking taking taking . Hopefully one day you even realise I'm living in this world . I really hate it when I feel you act as if
i'm not there , I'm transparent or
smt . Really irritates me , but wait a min , why should I care about you ?
Idk , I just feel so trapped . But thanks to
Amanda , she called me when I came back home from
trg ytd and chatted w me for so long . She's great , I love her !
Yeah , I'm going to end this post cause remember ????? I'm going to STUDY.
AIYAAAAAAAA , hope
tmr school will be a better day . Actually I hope you disappear from this planet ( so primary school -
ish ) So I don't need to care / to bother about you.
One of those nights.
9:50 AM
